


Sometimes I Wonder

by LadyBug_Alissa



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Age Changes, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Aromantic, Asexual Obi-Wan Kenobi, Asexual character(s), Canonical Character Death, Clone Troopers Speak Mando'a (Star Wars), Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Love Languages, M/M, Minor Character Death, Mutual Pining, Original Character(s), Qui-Gon Jinn Lives, Slow Burn, this is going to get a little existential
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:14:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27597365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyBug_Alissa/pseuds/LadyBug_Alissa
Summary: "But nothing Anakin, this worry will eat you up inside and turn you against yourself, like the Sith that Qui-Gon and I fought," Obi-Wan took a breath, he was trying to not lecture Anakin, but this was a lesson he needed to know and take to heart as soon as possible, "Anakin, when you let this worry fester it turns into fear and that fear turns into hate, and when someone like ourselves allows hate to take hold and control us and our actions we hurt ourselves and those around us, do you understand?"Summary: Qui-Gon Jinn lives so Obi-Wan and Cody have more time to fall in love.
Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody & CC-1010 | Fox, CC-2224 | Cody & CC-3636 | Wolffe, CC-2224 | Cody & CT-7567 | Rex, CC-2224 | Cody & Obi-Wan Kenobi, CC-2224 | Cody & Original Character, CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, Qui-Gon Jinn & Obi-Wan Kenobi
Kudos: 38





	Sometimes I Wonder

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I'm going to preface this by saying that this fic is me just organizing a 29-page Google doc of props, and scenes that I'm trying to organize into a cohesive story.  
> Because of that, I have no idea how long this story is going to be but if it somehow gets over 29 chapters I will be making a series and breaking the story up into sizable pieces.  
> That said I do have a basic direction that I want to go with this story, and the first few chapters won't take long to come out. 
> 
> Obi-Wan has been aged down to 18 during the Phantom Menace so that when he meets Cody he is 28 instead of 35.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So... I messed up and wrote almost half of this chapter... and then my computer crashed... before I could save my work... *insert facepalm* 
> 
> So seeing how God has called my bluff I'm going to be more careful in the future... hopefully...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick thing, I know I said that is was going to be coming out quickly and I haven't been keeping that promise but these first chapters are difficult because  
> 1 I am struggling to have motivation even though I really love this story  
> 2 I didn't have anything written for the beginning just the rest of the fick  
> and 3 School sucks and I can't procrastinate because I WILL fail my classes then (I say as I write this procrastinating at 3 am)

\-------------------

{32 BBY}

Qui-Gon Jinn is not prowed to admit that being on the receiving end of his bragging is quite annoying, but that didn't stop Plo Koon from continuing to flip through the hologram showing off his newest pride and joy a young named Ahsoka Tano. 

"She is very gifted, has only been here at the temple for a year, and already excelling!" Plo said, emanating pride through the force, "Shaak Ti says that in a few years she'll be ready to earn her headdress, I plan to accompany her on that trip." 

"I know Plo-" Qui-Gon started but was cut off with an image of Ahsoka showing off a row of razor-sharp teeth in a bright smile. 

"She was so pleased with herself, just look at those eyes!" 

Qui-Gon took in a deep breath letting his irritation leave through the force, "I know I had this coming, and she is adorable but has the council wavered at all on the decision to allow me to train Anakin?" 

Plo Koon put away his hollow slide of Ahsoka interlacing his finger in front of his mask, "The majority of us have not, I agree that the boy should be trained but there are several that are unsettled by his connection to the dark side, Master Yoda and Master Windu are still unmoving based on their inability to see the boys path," 

Qui-Gon groaned, "They are turning away the chosen one Plo," He stayed silent for a moment, thinking about what he would have to do to convince the council to allow him to train the boy, and when it came to him, his answer if the council would not change there mind he would have to leave the order. 

"Qui-Gon -" 

"I have one more day in here then I will address the conclude, if you would be so kind as to fetch Obi-Wan for me, I need to talk to him." 

\--------------------

Obi-Wan didn't like the medical wing of the temple, he didn't like the large majority of medical facilities in general. The smell of chemicals always brought back memories of his first trip to the outer rim. The smell of rotting flesh always seemed to accompany the chemicals in his mind. But Qui-Gon wanted to talk to him, so he would go. 

Qui-Gon looked better, still, pail but the injury on his chest was fully closed, and did not need a bacterial patch coving it 24/7 anymore.

His master looked up at him with a bright smile that eased Obi-Wan ever so slightly, "Master Koon said you wanted to talk to me?" Obi-Wan said not wanting to spend more time than was needed in the hospital. 

Qui-Gon nodded, "I wanted to congratulate you on achieving the title of Kight, it's not every day you wake up to hear that your padawan was the first person to kill a sith lord in a millennium," 

"Your exaggerating master," Obi-Wan pointed out still 

"A thousand years is still a long time," Qui-Gon said with a small smile, "And now I need to get out of the habit of calling you my padawan," 

Obi-Wan felt a twinge of sadness at his master's words, but he was right, their path was about to fork and the two would go their separate ways. 

"Obi-Wan, I want you to know that I plan to leave the order if the council denies my request to take Anakin as my padawan," Qui-Gon's words were quiet but series, Obi-Wan blinked, Qui-Gon's words not yet sinking in, "I am by no means asking you to leave with us, I just wanted you to hear it from me first, I'm addressing the council tomorrow and might not get to say a proper goodbye then-" 

"I understand, my calling is still with the order, and I know your calling is with Anakin, if that means you need to leave the order I will resect that," Obi-Wan said trying with quite a bit of difficultly to keep the sorrow from his voice. 

Qui-Gon gave Obi-Wan a sad smile, "I knew you would understand, If I may leave you with one last lesson as your master?" Obi-Wan nodded, "Don't let the order hold you back from the true light of the living force, I sensed hesitation in you when you were healing me," 

Obi-Wan couldn't meet his master's eyes at that moment, the shame of his failure to fully heal Qui-Gon was a burden that wayed heavy on his heart. 

"Obi-Wan, you have nothing to feel shame over, I have never been more proud of your ability to lessen so patently to the living force, out of all the padawans I have taken under my wing you are the one I admire the most in this regard," Qui-Gon said tears of pride brimming at the corners of his eyes, "I urge you to stick with that connection, though thick and thin, the code should be seen as a guideline, not the law, don't let it hold you back from giving yourself completely to the force," 

"Of course master," 

\--------------------

Obi-Wan took to meditating the next morning. He woke early his nerves getting the better of him, Qui-Gon was by no means a picture-perfect Jedi, he followed his own path and based his life solely on the will of the living force as all Jedi should but the way he interpreted the living force lead to much debate. Obi-Wan knew his old master was right about Anakin, he could tell it was the truth that Qui-Gon felt in his soul, he just with the council would see past Qui-Gon's off-putting nature and listen to the will of the living force as intently as Qui-Gon did. 

The garden was peaceful, the sun has not rose and Obi-Wan sat centering himself, he let go of his worry, his fear, his regret, and slipped away into the force, he did not require answers or guidance, just comfort, and like it had always done the force answered and grated Obi-Wan's request. 

\--------------------

Qui-Gon stood before the council, steadying himself with a cane he takes a deep breath. 

"I am here to ask one more time to be allowed to train Anakin Skywalker, the fear of the unknown should not be holding us back from the possibility of securing a being proficient to defeat our enemy that has decided to show its face," Qui-Gon looked at each cone member individually, "We have little information on how big the threat is, the force has given us a champion, now is not the time to sit back and fret, we must take action and I will not what idly for the council to deem the boy fit," 

Mace Windu looked up at him with shock, "Do you mean to say you would directly defy the council?" 

"No, I mean to say that I will not be part of an order that would willingly do nothing to stop an inevitable treat, the lively hood of those who follow the living force is at sake, to tun a blind eye now is excepting defeat without trying." 

Master Windu sat back in her charge a grave expression on his face, the rest of the council stared at Qui-Gon with very much the same expression. 

"The return of the sith is a mater we can not ignore, I believe that the boy should be trained," Master Plo Koon said breaking the silence. 

Ki-Adi-Mundi spoke up then, "The boy teeters on the edge of the dark side, training him can only lead to a further disturbance," 

The rest of the council erupted with a nose, either agreeing with Master Mundi or Master Koon. 

Mast Yoda silenced the council after a second with the rase of his hand, "Worthy of this task you belave yourself to be?" 

"Yes master, I do belave I can lead the boy in the correct direction," 

Master Yoda closed his eye's remaining silent for an agonizing moment before continuing, "Agree I do with Master Koon, much pain always if we stay unwavering, my permission you have to train the young Skywalker, ask I must Master Windu's assistants in such a mater." 

"Master?" Mace spoke looking at his old master Yoda with confusion. 

"Help train Anakin you will, your guidance he will need," Yoda spoke looking up at the ceiling, "Greate the threat of the sith is, always two there are for certain, but more should we expect, chosen he may be, what to see I will not," 

Qui-Gon took a deep bow, "Thank you, master," 

\--------------------

Year 6

Fox knew what he stood for, he knew what he would fight for.

He didn't yet know that the Republic would not save him and his vod'e from the life that they all lived, but continue the suffering of their existence. 

Fox was still young and only cared about his batch and protecting them, he had friends outside of his batch but he didn't feel the same innate desire to protect them as he did his batch. 

Tulip, Gree, and Az were who he needed to keep safe, and then Calin died. 

Loss wasn't new to Fox and his batch, they had lost vode to demolitions before, they knew that the cadets who were taken away would never return, but Calin was different, he wasn't being decommissioned he wasn't being taken away from them by the long necks, no he was just gone and there was no one they could blame for that, there was no one they could target their anger towards. 

It was a mistake, and that mistake killed one and devastated the other.

Fox and his batch witnessed Kote turn into Cody right before their eyes. The proud, talkative, kid who wasn’t afraid to take on anyone turned quiet and cold. Gone was the cheeky smile when he tackled another cadet during drills, gone was the bright twinkle of joy in his eyes. 

Gone was Kote. 

If asked, Fox wouldn't be able to tell you what changed in him and made him start worrying about Cody, what he did know was that he was not going to let his vod’ika be swallowed up by grief. 

There wasn't much discussion within his batch, an advantage of living under the longnecks was that the vode became experts in reading body language and interpreting one another, they all just knew that Cody was now their responsibility. 

Cody was the only one who needed time to adjust, some days he would lash out at them, others he stays very still and very silent. 

But as time passed he warmed up to the batch, though he didn't quite count himself among their numbers just yet. 

The day Cody met CT-7567 the outside weather was particularly harsh, a training bay had been flooded so as the cleaning crew and droids were repairing the damage, the younger cadets were assigned to work in the same room as Cody and Fox's batch. 

CT-7567 stuck out like a sore thumb, the standard-issued haircut not short enough to hide the deformity, blond hair.

Fox knew that the cadet would be trouble for him and his batch just by the way that Cody had been looking at him, you could almost taste the protective desire that was emanating from Cody that day, but Fox didn't bother himself with it, Cody was smart, surely he won't do anything stupid. 

Now if Fox were a betting man back when he was still a wide eye cadet, he would have lost all the credits placed to Cody not doing anything stupid, because the very next day Fox found Cody elegantly coping strategy games onto a blank datapad. 

"Are you braindead!?" Fox wanted to scream at him but somehow managed to keep his voice even. 

"He needs my help Fox, you saw him yesterday, not even his own batch would help-" 

"That's because he's on borrowed time, Cody, you don't mess with people you can't save." 

Cody gave Fox a horrific death glare then, "Then you shouldn't have wasted your time with me," 

"That's not what I meant and you know it," Fox said trying to backpedal. 

"Hey! stop it both of you, we need to get going so move it and stop being some winey baby's," Gree snaped getting their attention. 

Year 7

As baches were split up, with troopers being singled out for ARC training or Med training, Fox and his bach were slit up as will, AZ was off for heavy artillery and explosives training. Fox, Gree, and Cody were singled out for ARC training, and Tulip was sent off to be a Medic. 

Cody was shining with pride on their first day of ARC training when they learned that Blondy had also qualified. 

Early ARC training, before the war, was extreme. Jango Fett and Kal Skirata didn't pull any punches, but even still in those days, Fox saw Kote training alongside them, not Cody.

It was almost bittersweet that only during a time in their lives where they had to fight so hard, would Kote return. 

The ARC troopers became close very quickly, you had to because as an ARC trooper you would be sent into the worst of the worst and not always expected to return, but no matter the outcome the mission must succeed, that was the rule. 

Wolffe and Cody were the only two who couldn't seem to be able to work together, Fox couldn't wrap his head around it, and then one day during sparing it clicked. 

Wolffe was part of the younger side, his bach having been assigned to work with Blondies bach, and although there were no longer any physical differences to separate them by age you could still tell. Perhaps it was the lower number of decorations or the fact they didn't have to deal with Mij Gilama, either way, Wolffe acted like Cody, no not like Cody exactly he acted like Kote.

Wolffe was protective and determined, he was exencephaly at the same skill level as Cody, except for one thing, Wolffe was scared of Cody. 

It was hidden well but during a sparring match outside on a rare non-stormy day, the fear Wolffe harbored became evident. 

To be fair nobody wanted to spar with Kote, but you were a dead man walking if you were sparing with Cody. 

The group of cadets we're standing in a makeshift semirural watching Cody and Wolffe's spar. 

Cody was low to the ground, eyes squinted, there was no sign of Kote on his expression, just anger.

It was terrifying how he could channel that, and Wolffe was shaking while on the receiving end of it. 

Cody lunged blocking Wolffe's punch, and in one swift motion, Wolffe was pinned to the ground gasping for air that had been knocked out of his lungs. 

Year 9

**Author's Note:**

> The second chapter will be out relatively soon. Sorry, it was so sad, the next chapter should end on a brighter note.  
> Also, screw my co-Author who literally proofread this aloud to me like a sex scene.
> 
> This is the "Co-Author" and I highly recommend reading this whole chapter like a smut scene with as much extra commentary as you can muster for a good chuckle.
> 
> @thesearejustchoices GET OUT OF MY NOTE!!!!
> 
> Until next time. ;D
> 
> (P.S. the DA DA DAAA is the work of said ""Co-Author"")


End file.
